Redefining 'Saucy Phonecalls'

Fla. man dials 911, complains his sub had no sauce
Aug 4, 2008

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) — The sauce for a spicy Italian sandwich was apparently a must have for one Florida man. The man, Reginald Peterson, called 911 twice after a sandwich shop left off the sauce.

Peterson initially called the emergency number Thursday so that officers could have his subs made correctly, according to a police report. The second call was to complain that police officers weren't arriving fast enough.

Subway workers told police that Peterson, 42, became belligerent and yelled when they were fixing his order. They locked him out of the store when he left to call police.

When officers arrived, they tried to calm Peterson and explain the proper use of 911. Those efforts failed, and he was arrested on a charge of making false 911 calls.

Peterson did not have a listed phone number.

Hello Stockholm

Recently released trailer for Imran Khan's next film, Kidnap.

All I can say is this: Imran, you can kidnap me aaannnyyy time you like ;)

26

It's official. I am now in my "late twenties"; closer to 30 than to 20; able to qualify for lower car insurance.. all that good stuff.

But 26 still feels too young. I feel about 28. But then again, I've been feeling 28 since I was 23. I like 28. It's a rather comforting age - it's old enough to be solid and mature, but not completely deadbeat ancient with no prospects.. y'know? I look forward to 2010 when I actually will turn 28.

Meh. Birthday shmirthday. Age is just a number anyhow. But I do admit, the word chabbiss is cool.. it could pass off for a drug, demon, or possibly a loaf of bread.

Across the Universe

A completely mind-blowing film. Beautifully envisioned and executed cinematography/choreography of all the Beatles songs. And really excellent performances from the cast.

It's about 20-30 minutes too long, but overall, the film touches your heart, amazes all your senses, and leaves you feeling incredibly happy and sad at the same time.

The image below is a painting created by the film's main character, Jude (naturally, from Hey Jude) when girl he loves, Lucy (naturally, from Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds) hurts him deeply.

Something about the image pierces my heart each time I look at it. Desperate love and, also, desperate loss.

Yep, that basically wraps it up.

Lost in Translation

The Chinese really should invest in more than just a web-translator when creating English signs for the Olympics.

Pari Hoon Main

It's true. I've always wanted to be Titania, Queen of the Faeries.

Isn't it the most regal name and title ever? Conjures up images of gauzy turquoise dresses.. with gem-studded bodices and flowing skirts.. crowns and scepters.. glistening locks.. sweeping, majestic beauty.. rose-tinged cheeks.. luminous eyes.. power, desire, intense magic.

Umm, the picture on the right doesn't do justice to my vision of this sexy, firebrand of a sprite.. but you get the gist.

In fact, I love the idea of this character so much that when I dated a guy whose name began with O, I nicknamed him Oberon, and began going by Titania myself. I even changed my MSN nick to it at the time.

What? I love magic. And I never said I wasn't cheesy.

Anyhoo, as I was saying, I want to be a Fairy Queen. No, not the gay kind. And no, no relation to Dairy Queen either. Though I wouldn't mind a Blizzard right now. Mmm. Ice cream.

Oh by the way, while we're on the subject of ice cream, can I just say that Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream by Ben & Jerry's is *excellent*. Try it!

But yeah, Titania. Love it. If you're planning on getting me a vanity license plate for my birthday or something, T8TNIA should do the trick. *hint hint*

Magical Birthdays

Happy Birthday to Harry Potter (and JK Rowling)! Have learned two pieces of good news on this wonderful day:

Tales of Beedle the Bard will be sold to the public beginning this December! It'll be Hermione's Runes-to-English translation, but will include notes in the margin by Albus Dumbledore himself, and illustrations by JKR!

And, the 800-word Harry Potter short-story prequel that JK wrote and auctioned for charity in June is going on sale for regular people to buy in August! But I found an online version of the tale as well and pasted it below. Enjoy!

Woo! More books to fill the gaping void of magic in lives!

The Harry Potter Prequel
By J.K. Rowling
Source: The Gryffindor Gazette

The speeding motorcycle took the sharp corner so fast in the darkness that both policemen in the pursuing car shouted ‘whoa!’ Sergeant Fisher slammed his large foot on the brake, thinking that the boy who was riding pillion was sure to be flung under his wheels; however, the motorbike made the turn without unseating either of its riders, and with a wink of its red tail light, vanished up the narrow side street.

‘We’ve got ‘em now!” cried PC Anderson excitedly. ‘That’s a dead end!”

Leaning hard on the steering wheel and crashing his gears, Fisher scraped half the paint off the flank of the car as he forced it up the alleyway in pursuit.

There in the headlights sat their quarry, stationary at last after a quarter of an hour’s chase. The two riders were trapped between a towering brick wall and the police car, which was now crashing towards them like some growling, luminous-eyed predator.

There was so little space between the car doors and the walls of the alley that Fisher and Anderson had difficulty extricating themselves from the vehicle. It injured their dignity to have to inch, crab-like, towards the miscreants. Fisher dragged his generous belly along the wall, tearing buttons off his shirt as he went, and finally snapping off the wing mirror with his backside.

‘Get off the bike!’ he bellowed at the smirking youths, who sat basking in the flashing blue light as though enjoying it.

They did as they were told. Finally pulling free from the broken wind mirror, Fisher glared at them. They seemed to be in their late teens. The one who had been driving had long black hair; his insolent good looks reminded Fisher unpleasantly of his daughter’s guitar-playing, layabout boyfriend. The second boy also had black hair, though his was short and stuck up in all directions; he wore glasses and a broad grin. Both were dressed in T-shirts emblazoned with a large golden bird; the emblem, no doubt, of some deafening, tuneless rock band.

‘No helmets!’ Fisher yelled, pointing from one uncovered head to the other. ‘Exceeding the speed limit by - by a considerable amount!’ (In fact, the speed registered had been greater than Fisher was prepared to accept that any motorcycle could travel.) ‘Failing to stop for the police!’

‘We’d have loved to stop for a chat,’ said the boy in glasses, ‘only we were trying -’

‘Don’t get smart - you two are in a heap of trouble!’ snarled Anderson. ‘Names!’

‘Names?’ repeated the long-haired driver. ‘Er - well, let’s see. There’s Wilberforce… Bathsheba… Elvendork…’

‘And what’s nice about that one is, you can use it for a boy or a girl,’ said the boy in glasses.

‘Oh, OUR names, did you mean?’ asked the first, as Anderson spluttered with rage. ‘You should’ve said! This here is James Potter, and I’m Sirius Black!’

‘Things’ll be seriously black for you in a minute, you cheeky little -’

But neither James nor Sirius was paying attention. They were suddenly as alert as gundogs, staring past Fisher and Anderson, over the roof of the police car, at the dark mouth of the alley. Then, with identical fluid movements, they reached into their back pockets.

For the space of a heartbeat both policemen imagined guns gleaming at them, but a second later they saw that the motorcyclists had drawn nothing more than -

‘Drumsticks?’ jeered Anderson. ‘Right pair of jokers, aren’t you? Right, we’re arresting you on a charge of -’

But Anderson never got to name the charge. James and Sirius had shouted something incomprehensible, and the beams from the headlights had moved.

The policemen wheeled around, then staggered backwards. Three men were flying - actually FLYING - up the alley on broomsticks - and at the same moment, the police car was rearing up on its back wheels.

Fisher’s knees bucked; he sat down hard; Anderson tripped over Fisher’s legs and fell on top of him, as FLUMP - BANG - CRUNCH - they heard the men on brooms slam into the upended car and fall, apparently insensible, to the ground, while broken bits of broomstick clattered down around them.

The motorbike had roared into life again. His mouth hanging open, Fisher mustered the strength to look back at the two teenagers.

‘Thanks very much!’ called Sirius over the throb of the engine. ‘We owe you one!’

‘Yeah, nice meeting you!’ said James. ‘And don’t forget: Elvendork! It’s unisex!’

There was an earth-shattering crash, and Fisher and Anderson threw their arms around each other in fright; their car had just fallen back to the ground. Now it was the motorcycle’s turn to rear. Before the policemen’s disbelieving eyes, it took off into the air: James and Sirius zoomed away into the night sky, their tail light twinkling behind them like a vanishing ruby.

Here's the Wikipedia analysis of the story and the context surrounding it.

Walking down the years

Yet again, the iPod shuffle setting has turned up a gem of a song that I had forgotten about for a while. This song takes me back to freshman year, I had used it as the background score for my first short film. Sadly, it only got a B+, foreshadowing all the film classes I would take and never get an A in. But it definitely brings back memories.

As I listen to it this song now, seven years later, it's strange to me how much older I feel now. When I first heard it, this song was simply cool; now it's truth, reality, relevant. How time grows you up.

Enjoy.



Alameda
By Elliott Smith

You walk down Alameda, shuffling your deck of trick cards over everyone
Like some precious only son
Face down, bow to the champion

You walk down Alameda, looking at the cracks in the sidewalk
Thinking about your friends
How you maintain them in a constant state of suspense

For your own protection over their affection
Nobody broke your heart
You broke your own, 'cos you can't finish what you start

Walk down Alameda brushing off the nightmares you wish
Could plague me when I'm awake
And now you see your first mistake was thinking that you could relate

For one or two minutes she liked you
But the fix is in

You're all pretension, I never pay attention
Nobody broke your heart
You broke your own, 'cos you can't finish what you start
Nobody broke your heart
You broke your own, 'cos you can't finish what you start
Nobody broke your heart
You broke your own, 'cos you can't finish what you start
Nobody broke your heart
If you're alone it must be you that wants to be apart

Yes, it's gonna be a cold, lonely summer..

I feel like I've been gone from the xinugeist for a long time. I mean, there are posts on here for the month of July, I know... but doesn't it feel like things haven't been quite normal? As if I'm here.. but not really? It feels a little cold.. and lonely.

Well, I shall put that right, right away with some news!

Let's see, what's been happening.. hmm..

Well, the news of gravest importance in recent days is that I got a disaster $85 haircut, in which the master stylist at Aveda's Pyara Salon in Harvard Square (yeah, believe it) chopped off six inches of my hair to leave it at chin-level! My hair hasn't been this short since I was, like, nine years old. I fumed over it for a few days but having spent the last three days washing and styling it the way that *I* prefer, rather than the ass who cut it off, it's beginning to look more normal and familiar to me, so I guess I'm getting used to it now.. what you think?











I've also been spending an inordinate amount of time soaking up rainwater that keeps flooding our apartment through the washer/dryer unit every time there's a thunderous downpour, and I must admit, those have been occurring with a freakish regularity this year. I believe the maintenance guys have fixed the problem now, but a large portion of our carpet is all brown and smelly now. Ugh. We're insisting the building people replace it pronto, let's hope it happens soon.

In other news, I strained my back and arm by playing Boom Blox! on the Wii.. you can tell how out of shape I am when you correlate the level of pain (high) with the amount of time played (about 20 mins). It's an entertaining game, though, I love making things explode. Mmm.

Also, it's been five years since I met Sarwar.. how time flies eh?

Let's see, what else.. oh yeah, we saw Joel McHale live at the Roxy Nightclub in Chinatown, a shady club if there ever was one.. we were the only non-white people at the event, and as we left, we noticed that the entire line of people queuing up to go clubbing consisted of Hispanic women in skin-tight, barely-there clothing.. scary stuff. He was pretty funny, but I think I prefer him on The Soup than live and in person.

Oh my god, how could I forget to mention this - we saw The Dark Knight! OMG OMG OMG. SO DAMN GOOD. We saw it in IMAX, which is the *only* way to see it frankly. It was spine-tinglingly arresting from start to finish. The special effects and action sequences were excellent, Heath Ledger was phenomenal as the Joker, and the plot - though somewhat lengthy and convoluted - kept you on the edge of your seats. It was everything the critics raved about.. did not disappoint at all.

But I suppose there are a couple of small things I might ding the movie for..

Firstly, there was very little Bruce Wayne/Alfred banter or humor, and Christian Bale spent so much time inside the Batsuit that we didn't get to enjoy his 'acting' so much (there's only so much you can emote when your face is covered and your voice technologically altered).

Secondly, the story has progressed so that crime in Gotham City has been cleaned up a great deal since the last movie, so a lot of the cinematography depicted a bright and airy city in the daytime. This was a little jarring; I like Gotham being dark and dreary, and full of crime. Plus, in the daytime it was far easier to identify the outdoor locales as Chicago and I spent more time looking at the scenery and thinking, "I've been there.. and there.." than soaking in Gotham City.

Also, the dialogue and plot-line progressed so quickly that at times I didn't know what was going on. But that can be easily remedied.. I'll just go watch it again this week :D

Overall, though, it was an excellent film.. more of a psychological thriller than your typical superhero movie. Batman has always been my favorite superhero because he has no super powers to begin with, and has a dark and disturbed character. But I agree with many critics that TDK might be the peak for evolution within this genre. You can't take the 'super' out of a superhero movie any more than this, nobody will be able to top this - not even the next Batman installment itself.

But we do have something to look forward to anyway - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince releases in IMAX this November.. YES!



Oh what am I getting all excited about. It's going to be an awful movie, they always are. But still, it feels nice to see something HP related after so long. I miss magic :(

There we go.. we're on Harry Potter territory again. Aah, doesn't that feel better? Everything is back to the way it was..

.. now I just have to get 'Sealed with a Kiss' out of my head. Damn you, Jason Donovan.

What is love?

This note is the culmination of a few months of introspection and analysis, a road that I was sent wandering down when a dear friend of mine asked me a simple question: “How do you know when you’re in love?”

As a person who has easily been able to feel and express love, at first I was taken aback by this question. But as I explored the thought further, it occurred to me that I was not necessarily aware of exactly what I have meant when I have said the words “I love you” in the past. Love represents a range of human emotions and can refer to a variety of different feelings and states – how have I defined it to myself, and how have I known when I felt it?

So I decided to embark upon a ‘quest’, if you will, to uncover and understand the true meaning and nature of love, what it means to me, and how I might be able to answer my friend’s question. I probed my heart, looked for answers in poetry and music, in the words of philosophers and self-help experts, and in the experiences of friends and loved ones in various stages of relationships - from successful, to faltering, to failed.

After all that research, here is what I have come to believe:

As an emotion, love, by itself, is indefinable, because it is not just a singular feeling felt by an individual. Love is, in fact, the right combination of four other definable feelings – infatuation, lust, friendship and spiritual connection.

Why these four specific feelings? I’ll explain:

Infatuation is actually what people typically describe as love, or the act of falling in love. This is the stuff of poetry, song, and cheesy love quote widgets on iGoogle – you feel completely carried away by unreasoned passion; there’s a sense of urgency, intensity, desire, and extreme absorption in the other person; everything seems perfect, you feel addicted, unable to stay apart, made for each other – all that good stuff. We know that infatuation is often the first emotion to fade away, but tender words, thoughtful gifts and romance are still important components of love. However, there is more.

You also need lust. It often comes hand in hand with infatuation, but let’s not deny the fact that physical attraction is a large, and important, component of long-lasting love. It is simply the way we were made, and pretending like real love is pure and untainted, without a shred of lust in sight, is simply naiveté. Physical touch is an important expression of love, but, of course, there is more.

There’s friendship, which is often the part of love that gets the least attention, because we tend to think that a lover is bigger and better than a friend. Wrong. Love without friendship is hollow, because we all need someone who can make us smile when we’re down, respects us despite our flaws, shares our interests, spends quality time with us, gives us confidence, takes care of us, and helps us in times of need. Friendship can be an important cornerstone to love, but there is yet more.

Every relationship also needs a spiritual connection. By this I’m not necessarily referring to religion. For people who put stock in religion, finding someone who helps strengthen faith is a key component of love. But all of us are born with goodness, an innate sense of right and wrong, the part of us that tells us it is good to be honest, loyal, kind, compassionate and respectful. Nobody is perfect by any means, but true love connects our goodness with someone else’s, soothes and renews our spirit, and inspires us to just try to be better people.

So, what is love? It is the madness of infatuation, the rawness of lust, the solid dependability of friendship, and the comforting connection of our spirit to someone else's.

Each of these feelings do not need to exist in equal part to create love. I spent a few minutes trying to develop some kind of paradigm or scale to measure love, based on the importance and longevity of these feelings, but the truth is there is no formula.

You know that what you feel is love when you find someone for whom you feel a satisfying level of infatuation, lust, friendship and spiritual connection – and that person also thinks that you satisfy these feelings within them.

The key here, of course, is knowing and understanding your own satisfaction level, and since each person is unique, their expectations in the four areas will be different, and their definition of love will also be unique.

In most cases, love grows in stages and with time, and goes from infatuation/lust to friendship/spiritual connection, although there is no such thing as the linear progression of love.

But if you can find love that completely satisfies you in the present, and you feel that even though your needs will adjust with time, this one person will continue to grow with you and make your feelings even stronger, you may be one of the lucky ones in this world to have discovered real, strong and long-lasting love. ☺

Move over, Shahid.

I'm in love.. with James McAvoy.

Yes, I must confess, I am completely, utterly, totally smitten by the world's most charming Scotsman.

Now, come on, can you blame me? He's clearly executed a crafty plot from the very beginning..

First, he appeals to my sense of cute and cuddly by being an adorable Mr. Tumnus, who, after Aslan, has always been my most favorite character in Narnia;








Then, he shows up as the sexy farm hand-next-door, cum gentleman, cum virile army officer in Atonement;









And then, in Becoming Jane, he is every woman's dream guy - Mr. Darcy - incarnate. Complete with perfectly tousled hair, debonair attitude, and.. the silver bullet.. a cravat.





Yes, a cravat. A cravat! Why? Why? Does he do this on purpose? Does he know what cravats do to me?

I can look at any accessory in the world and feel nothing, but a cravat makes me come undone each time. I don't know why, it is inexplicable. But there you have it.


Of course, all this makes it sound like I am taken by simply his looks. That is not true. The guy can act. Seriously. He's really good. And he came on The Daily Show a few weeks ago, and he's funny too. Plus he's only 29. Of course, he's married.. and, erm, so am I.. but.. erm.. that's negotiable!

...Isn't it?

*sigh*

Oh well, I guess I'll just have to make do with watching this scene from Becoming Jane over and over again.

If you haven't seen the movie, here's the back-story: Jane Austen (Anne Hathaway) and Tom LeFroy (James McAvoy) have been flirting for the past few weeks, but Tom is leaving tomorrow, and no concrete expression of love has yet been made by either. This is their last evening together, but they're stuck at this ball where Jane is trying to avoid another suitor, but she's hoping she'll see him there.

The anticipation and excitement in the scene is something we've all experienced at some point in our lives: Will he come? Is he here? Will I be able to talk to him? Oh, how do I make sure no one notices? And then.. he appears. It's a delicious, sneaky, amazing moment and the expression on his face is perfect. Seriously. Watch the scene below and tell me if your heart didn't skip a beat at 2:08. Mine definitely did. It does it every time I watch the scene.

*sigh* Perfecto..

I cut all my hair off. I thought I'd feel different. Snazzy. Young. Better.

But I feel worse. I hate it.

Why doesn't anything in my life ever go as planned?

I don't know who I am anymore. I don't recognize myself in the mirror.

Ek Sawaal...

Main bhool jaaoun tumhe, ab yehi munaasib hai
Magar bhulana bhi chahoun toh kis tarah bhooloun?
Ke tum toh phir bhi haqeeqat ho, koi khwab nahin..

Yahan toh dil ka yeh aalam hai, kya kahoun..

Bhulaa saka na yeh woh silsila joh tha hi nahin;
Woh ek khayal jo awaz tak gaya hi nahin;
Woh ek baat jo main keh nahin saka tumse;
Woh ek rabt jo hum mein kabhi raha hi nahin;
Mujhe hai yaad woh sab jo kabhi hua hi nahin..

Agar yeh haal hai dil ka, toh koi samjhaaye
Tumhein bhulana bhi chahoun toh kis tarah bhooloun?
Ke tum toh phir bhi haqeeqat ho, koi khwab nahin..

Song of the Week

Current mood: Poetic
Current song on repeat: Khamaj, by Fuzon (Saagar)
Why: Exquisite composition, lyrics, vocals.. a perfect song if there ever was one.

Pyaar tumhe itna karte hain
Tum yeh samajh nahin paaoge
Jab hum na hongay, o peharwa
Bolo kya tab aaoge?

Mora saiyyan moh sey boley na
Mora saiyyan moh sey boley na
Main laakh jatan kar haari
Main laakh jatan kar haar rahi..

Holy Zeus, Batman!

"There is a story about the Greek Gods.
They were bored so they invented human beings.
But they were still bored so they invented love.
Then they weren't bored any longer, so they decided to try love for themselves.
Then, finally, they invented laughter.. so they could stand it."

This is a quote from a movie called Feast of Love. I like it. The concept that our existence is the result of callous exercises in creativity is at once incredibly liberating and wildly depressing, but it has an ironic simplicity to it that, somehow, rings true in the soul.

Plus, Morgan Freeman was narrating the lines, so it sounded pretty legit to me. Seriously, there's something in that man's voice that inspires complete confidence. I'd believe him if he said I was a pigeon, reincarnated as a lesbian, trapped in an antelope's body.

Either way, I guess that means that if/when I ever say, "I don't know about 'love' man.. it's all Greek to me..", there may actually be some truth to that statement after all. Ha.

In other news, *SO COMPLETELY PSYCHED* about The Dark Knight coming out this Friday. Probably won't get to see it until Sunday due to various commitments over the weekend, but can barely contain the excitement. Keeping my eyes closed and fingers crossed so that I see no spoilers and can continue to pray that it doesn't disappoint!

Superpower Love

Wonder Woman is restraining and talking to Superman after he is transformed into Doomsday form by Circe:

Wonder Woman: "I won't let you give into your pain or guilt. The whole world needs you right now because of who you are and what you do. Because of what you mean to everyone. Because of what you mean to me. Just by being as good as you are."

Superman (changing back and crying): "Diana.. what have I done to you?"

You've done nothing, you stupid stupid man. She *loves* you. Don't you get it? That's what love is. Gawd, for a man with super-strength and x-ray vision, you're pretty dumb.

Song of the Week

Current mood: Sad
Current song on repeat: Kahin Toh Hogi (Jaane Tu.. Ya Jaane Na)
Why: The film was totally adorable and while most of the songs are simply magical, especially Kabhi Kabhi Aditi , this track really hit home with me (both were sung by some dude called Rashid Ali, whose voice I'm becoming a big fan of because of its sheer newness and youth).

This is a sad, teenage-angsty song that is reminiscent of Michael Learns to Rock love songs which felt so deep and meaningful when you were a teen in the late 1990s. It takes you back to that age, when heartbreak made you so sad that you thought you had seen the worst of things to come... but you also knew inside that you were only a kid so there was actually lots of time left for you to experience real life and there was hope that it would, eventually, be wonderful. Who would have thought that just ten years later you'd be looking back at your teen years with such nostalgia? Boy, I feel old :)

Holding back, holding in
Tears, screams

Tearing up, tearing at
Every hope, every dream

Song of the Week

Current mood: Pensive, a little hopeful.
Current song on repeat: Pehli Nazar Mein (Race).
Why: Atif Aslam manages to minimize the angst in his voice and actually sound a little tender/romantic, as he tactfully warbles his way to some really enjoyable high notes, in a sweet love song that.. hmm.. kinda makes you wanna run around a flowery valley with a lover. Y'know?

Enjoy :)

Ok guys, I have a birthday coming up so I'm putting this on the wish-list. Gimme!