Don't Touch That Dial

Sometimes, life sucks.

There are always a million things that wrong. So many reasons to be unhappy, such few reasons to rejoice. Sometimes it feels like no matter how hard you try, there's nothing but failure at every step, difficulties wherever you turn, and that you'll never find a way out of the darkness.

A few nights ago, as on most nights, I lay in bed and thought about exactly all of this. I ruminated my bleak life and all the things that were wrong with it. But then, quite randomly and out of nowhere, a thought struck me. I thought: "You know what? Even though today sucked, I don't want to die tonight. It can't be over just yet. Waking up tomorrow would be such a blessing."

And I realized that there are way too many things we take for granted in our lives without even realizing how much we're missing out on. I don't consider myself a very wise person but I'd like to think that I spend a lot of time keeping the channels open, waiting for wisdom from God to find its way through from time to time. Realizing that night that I have more blessings than curses in my life, and far more to be grateful for than angry about, was one of those moments.

So that night I created this prayer, which I now pray every night before going to bed. It gives me peace at the end of a difficult day and hope for tomorrow. It goes something like this:

God,
Thank you for allowing me to wake up this morning.
Thank you for giving me legs to stand on when I got out of bed.
For hands that let me wash my face and style my hair,
Fingers that let me type my morning emails,
And eyes that let me look out the window and check the weather.
When I opened my fridge, there was food; thank you.
When I turned on the tap, there was water; thank you.
When I shook the can and pressed the nozzle, I had mousse; thank you.
Thank you for letting me scratch that itch on my back.
Thank you for not letting the toaster zap me;
For not letting the Internet go down so I could do my work;
For protecting me from bad drivers and cyclists as I walked down the street.
I was late to my meeting, but only by 10 minutes and not 30 minutes, so thank you.
I got yelled at by my mom, but only for 2 minutes and not (the usual) half hour, so thank you.
Thank you for giving me a house to live in and clothes to wear and air to breathe.
Thank you for a husband who makes me smile every single day of the week.
Thank you for giving me a bed tonight to sleep in,
And thank you (in advance) for letting me wake up tomorrow morning.

Yeah. I know it's a little cheesy. But I mix it up based on what happened each day and it makes me happy. It's likely that this sense of peace will last a long time, but I hope that the next time things seem bleak, and the struggle unending, my channels will still be open and that God will find a way to get through to me again.

Amen.