Ok, so here's the infamously "lost" poetic blog post...

Did you know that my right eyebrow grows back faster and thicker than my left eyebrow, giving the pair a decidedly lopsided look about two weeks after I get them threaded?

Aah, hair. Dastardly enemy of all women. If men knew how much time we took to thread, pluck, shave, wax, trim, snip and style all the various types of hair we own, they would surely make the effort to notice when our faces and bodies went from baboon to beauty, and not take it for granted that we come naturally smooth.

Aah, hair. It grows on every part of us, determined to enforce the protection against the elements it was destined to provide. Though one wonders if hair would actually have been useful in a jungle world full of venus flytraps, gooey bugs, cobwebs, branches and other creepy crawlies. I'd imagine it would get caught in something all the time. I also wonder why our palms and soles were spared by hair during our evolution from primates to primadonnas - you'd think they'd help with the grip (unless you shampooed and conditioned them).

Aah, hair. Hair, hair everywhere.. and not a drop to.. wait, that doesn't make any sense. Isn't it funny though how we can easily put the hugest objects into our mouths (food, food you sick people) and chew on them and swallow them - yet the mere thought of a hair in the throat makes one want to gag?

Aah, hair. Can't live with you, can't live without you. No wait, could definitely live without you - except on my head; there you can grow with thick abandon.

Aah, hair.