2nd Worst Social Occasion Ever.

After my rant about baby showers, I realized that I'm also very sick of weddings. They're never as fun as Bollywood makes them out to be.

Think about it: if you're merely a guest, it's boring to sit at a table with strangers and watch the proceedings from afar. If you're close to the family, you either want to help and no one asks you to, making you feel rebuffed, or they take you for granted and run you to the ground without a word of thanks. If it's your own, you're the stressed-out bride who believes the whole world is out to ruin her life and is never happy with the way things turn out.

The only scenario in which weddings are somewhat entertaining is when they involve your siblings. But even then, inevitably, your parents will ruin it all, like they've always ruined everything else!

From an emotional perspective, I think there's too much pressure at desi weddings, usually of the bad kind. Brides and grooms are so focused on the inconsequential minutiae of the wedding, that they forget to focus on the marriage, which - no matter how much you know or love the other person - is bloody hard work. Who cares if the centerpieces match the exact shade of the bride's eye-shadow? Do you think anyone will notice? Will you really care three years from now when, let's say, you're sweaty and tired from saddling your teething toddler and you wish your husband would help without you having to ask?

Marriage can be wonderful, but it is a serious endeavor. It's a big deal. And its seriousness is lost in the frivolities of pre-wedding, wedding, and post-wedding celebrations, and that frustrates me. And nobody gives the bride and groom a reality check because no one wants to be the killjoy, but are words of wisdom really that lame?

Weddings always leave me very emotionally confused. I enjoy the rituals, but I get easily frustrated when things don't run like clockwork and become weary from the forced merriment of various traditions. I'm happy for the couple, but I worry that they don't know what they're getting into, and have to bite back from interfering in their lives.

That being said, everyone and their uncle seems to be getting married in 2009 and I wanna get married too!

What's that? Oh. I'm already married. Well, yeah, but my wedding was so disappointing. I was the bride who was unhappy with most of the dresses, had NO friends around, had to put up with a lot of distant family members she didn't really like, had too many awkward moments with in-laws, no dancing routines, an unpleasant joota-chupai, a weird nikah ceremony, bad photographs, a day-before-wedding "let's call it off" panic attack... oh yeah, the list is endless. The whole thing was a week of awkwardness and forced merriment from start to finish.

Which is why... I WANT A DO-OVER! :P