Poked, prodded.. and pooped.

After walking around town for six hours in blinding heat, while shivering with nausea and other flu-like symptoms that continue to persist, fatigued and weakened without food or drink, I have come to the following conclusions:

1) Speculum is quite possibly the scariest word in the English dictionary. And gynecological exams are officially the biggest effing curse of being a woman -- low self-esteem and hair removal be damned. I hereby diagnose myself with Post Traumatic Penis Envy.

2) My favorite leather sandals are officially dead. I know this because my feet smell. Bad.

3) Against all logic and natural instinct, I'm probably moving to a place in Coolidge Corner, i.e. on the dastardly Green Line. Sorry Red Line, I tried.. but you're just too crappy and undergrad-y for my cushy professional/post-grad ass. Yes. I have a cushy ass.

Bah.